Yes, I did it!

This is one of my first fanfics. It is Tarja thinks about her dissmission. Read=)

Needle

Needle, it hurt my skin time after time, leave only wounds on skin. No, I am not narcomaniac, if you think it. I don’t want to kill myself, no. And I don’t practise yoga. This is Chinese medicine. To looks good isn’t offence. I have to go to stage and sing. While my songs isn’t so good and voice start to get worse, it is necessary to looks beautiful. It’s strange, but I, who in the past was the queen of metal, go to sessions of Chinese medicine, so month ago I did plastic operation.  Life changes, cardinal change. If you not sing so good, you’ll have wonderful looks, that fans even if don’t go out. Yet, how many them are still listen to my songs? Maybe, only 50 or 70 thousand all over the world. Lately I have millions of them, hundred thousands all over the world. It’s all thank to that’s hell Holopainen! If he hadn’t given me that wretched paper, now all would be differently. Marselo didn’t liked by him. But Tuomas didn’t think about me. He turn me out to street and I had to did something if I want tomerited “meet”old age. And you, Marselo, what did you do, when I find oneself in that situation? You only had divorced with me and married with another rich and successful singer. Fool, he thought, what it was better decision. Passably, I will achieve my last grandeur as well. But you won’t be with me, instead of you with me would be another man. Finally fans won’t see me “crushed”, they will see Tarja had been previously. Full of grandeur, pride. Finally, I would be the queen again. Tuomas, you will be full of compassion, that you dissmissed me and bring that upstart instead me. Even she can’t sing normally, only cry and squeal. Not like me. Sibelius Academy and regular vocal lessons, it is for no special reason. When I was dismissed, many people offered me to came to their band or to be solist of church choir or something another. But I chose this: to start the solo career. I was presumptuous dunce. I don’t know nothing about this hard work. I had to bore all difficulties alone, so I could’t, I have my agent – Marselo, but only for time when we divorced. And what is now? I not so famous and don’t been needed for anyone. Parents…Family… For them it would be only proof that I hadn’t go sing and found normal job how others. But it is too late. I can’t change something. Only have to wait end of treatment and try to write songs: about my state.One of them I definitely named like this “Alone world”. Ha-ha! It’s so foolish. Finally I have to admit: Without Nightwish I no-one, but this no-one wants to become somebody. Fool thinks about nothing. I must do, not think. But it is hard to do it alone…Now, with me only needle, which hurt my skin time after time, leave only wounds on skin, but soon it won’t be with me.